Homecomings and Independence

Thursday afternoon, the last day of the 4 day school week here, we celebrated the 4the of July and welcomed home our director and his wife who'd been ministering in India for a month. What a party!  Each class pooled together and some of the mother's backed tasty treats.  Cake and doughnuts were passed out for almost an hour straight until everything was gone. Top that off with some soda-pop and extra sweet Tang, and it was mayhem in the best sense possible.  But what fun to hear those kids sing songs!  The teachers opted to sing God Bless America for us.

I spent most of the later afternoon in the medical clinic. Seemed every kiddo in the school had some bump or scrape. At one time there were 6 little ones all crowed around to watch. There are some nasty thorns that the kids get in their hands, feet, or heads from time to time that work themselves deep.  We did our best. I'm not on the hunt for some topical anesthetic.  One little gal, she had one real legit cut up knee, but as for the rest of the ailments, I think it had more to do with the one on one attention, and love than anything else.  And I'm perfectly content to give out bandages and kiss cut fingers and pray with these kids, speaking over them that they are precious, loved and meaningful.  I smile hearing a little 6 year old say "Aye, Britt-ny, girl"! with that amazing island accent as she stood up to the pain better than I thought she would. Just when it was all cleaned up and everyone shuttled out the door I heard the now familiar "Miss Brittany!!!" A beautiful little 7 year old had been running with the rambunctious, sugar-filled crew and ate it on the path.  So scooped her up and it was back to the clinic.  She'll be fine. Skinned knees and gravel in her palms, but nothing that won't heal up.  Probably more hurtful was the harsh reprimand from an onlooker when she came up bleeding and sobbing.  She's a little kid full of sugar after a party! I think she's suppose to be playing tag and having a good time.   It's a lot easier to mend a scraped knee than a hurt heart.  Independence day. Freedom.  Freedom of soul, freedom from shame.  I want so much for these kids to know that they are loved, that God has a plan for their lives, and that they can be free to become all that he purposes for them.

North-side vs. South-side

Down a path through thick island jungle to a small cleared out soccer field under the hot midday sun all the students from both the North-side and South-side Spanish schools were having a soccer match.  What fun to be in the middle of it!  Bare feet and socks for those without shoes and such energy from the excited crowd.  In the middle of it I look down and a little boy has sidled up alongside me. When I put my arm around him and say hello, he leans in for a long hug.  I love the moments I get to love on these kids.  The highlight of yesterday was sitting on the deck looking up at the kids on the benches as I doled out bandaids to every miniscule cut and prickle and sliver.  Kissed fingers and giggles: it was grand.  It's in those moments I just drink deeply of amazement and wonder. God loves these kids so much and I get to be a part of it.  

One afternoon

Walking down a dusty path a woman runs up to me and says I must come.  I don’t have my medical bag with me, this was suppose to just be a pleasant walk out in the community.  I follow a growing crowd of onlookers over a rickety boardwalk to a small house over the shallow water.  Inside is an elderly man who has been ill for some time.  And today he’s very sick.  Making a quick appraisal of the situation, it was back to the clinic to call doctors and discuss arrangements and possible causes.  Over the course of the next 24 hours as we awaited the doctor and transportation to the hospital, I dressed wounds, placed an IV while other team members lent assistance, and marveled at the care and sweet attention of God. 

In a giant world on an obscure island in a tucked away community in a simple house lay a man who was sick.  And God moved multiple individuals and put us all in place so that as he pleased he could serve this man. That there would be someone to bandage his wounds and ease his discomfort. That someone would keep a cool damp cloth on his head and pray with him. That we would hear his praise to the Lord for his health in the midst of obvious discomfort.  I am awed by Jesus and his compassion.  I don’t always understand the circumstances, but His love is sure and his redemption promised.  

Movies on the porch and dinnertime surgery

The full moon illuminates the sea in a silver glow. It’s bright enough to walk the path tonight.  I’ve had the privilege the last few weeks to work alongside a doctor not only getting to learn more how to help those who come to the clinic, but also enjoying the opportunity to sit and chat with more people along the path as we made rounds daily into the community to see those who have a hard time making it to us.  So we’ve drained boils, sutured severed fingers and pulled a bullet from an ankle.  One of the fingers was the worst.  First time any of my suturing learning opportunities has almost made me queasy.  It didn’t help that it came directly on the tail of a going away dinner for the family who has been with us these last few weeks.  Nonetheless it is a joy to serve here.  Officially finished the 10 week training and study portion and now have moved into a staff position, which in actually means very little change in daily life.  I just don’t have hours of reading due each week...though come to think of it I think I have a paper I need to still write...

I think a few of my favorite moments the last few days have been having a little boy fall asleep in my arms while we watched a movie out on the open air deck.  With Zookeeper projected on the side of the building, there was nowhere else in the world that could have been better than sitting on the floor of the wood deck with this little guy.  Double joy when a few nights later he once again nestled in during Nemo.  This evening while a group of children played games on the deck I found myself sitting with a lady I hadn’t yet met, and we just got to talk and laugh together for a while enjoying a cool breeze and the beauty of the night.  That cool breeze is much welcome.  It gets a bit humid and hot from time to time, but I am grateful not to be too bothered by this.  We’ve been having some generator trouble for which you can pray, but so blessed that there is a fan at night.  My house becomes more and more home day by day.  

I’d been meaning to post something and wanted to share with you some things that Jesus has been showing me lately, so I kept putting off a post until I could put all that together coherently, but alas, that does not seem to be happening; the weeks get away from me. So here are some tidbits and the deeper reflections will just have to come later; too tired for that now.  

In the last few weeks another new adventure would be the English classes we are leading on a nearby island.  The 25 of so Honduran men who attend vary greatly in their English skills, but all are eager to learn more, so gracious to help me with my poor Spanish when I try to explain something, and all and all it’s a wonderful time.  We go through our usual full day and twice a week rush off right when the afternoon school gets out, going over to the island by way of a small boat.  Some nights the sea has been quite rough. We usually leave with the sunset behind us, then return under a canopy of stars, phosphorescent algae or something of that sort being stirred up in the wake of the boat like fireflies diving in the waves.  Other nights the sea is still and the moon so bright you can actually see the different shades in the water made by the black coral or white sand underneath as we go skimming through he shallow water inside the reef.  In the daylight these same areas turn the most brilliant shades of turquoise.

Well, time to call it a day.  I haven’t been sleeping much, but feel very sustained, praise the Lord.  Some visitors leave tomorrow and other folks arrive; every day is new and things are always changing and in flux.  I’ve been overseeing more and more of the kitchen administration during visiting groups.  After putting in the inventory to the director today I’ll wait to see what is available down-island when he shops tomorrow; then it’s time to create a menu for the next 42 meals with whatever items are available and come back o the boat.  

Life on a Monday

April is coming to a close and every day continues press us further to trust and know Jesus, to live another otherwise unpredictable day, and join God in what he is doing in, around and through us.  Today Hosea 6:3 is on on my mind “Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord”.  I default to striving.  I so often can default to trying to live the life I believe I “ought” to live.  Trying so hard to obey a rule, please someone, achieve something, be something.  You don’t arrive at being something by doing something.  The doing comes out of your being, not the other way around.  I am also so prone to forget things I learn.  I want to obey God, but trying to was wrought with frustration and it seemed burdensome, joyless... But once again, I had it backwards; and so, ever so patiently, the Spirit is reminding me: know the Lord. Press on to know him.  To know him is to meet his character and in knowing we begin to trust which leads us to love him which leads to doing what he desires.  Obedience, then, is the fruit of knowing him.  It begins with who God is and what he does.  Then, as Acts 17:28 says “In Him we live and move and have our being”.  Finally, lastly, we get to what we do, how we live, the actions of faith.  But we can’t just go about in our own effort to do something in order to prove our worth, love or faith to God. He invites us to know him, to abide in him, to find our identity in Him; then He will lead us to live the life for which we were created, the one that is most satisfying, true and right.  There is then this amazing effect, that in as he leads us to obey, and we do so, we come to know him even more and the relationship deepens ever still.  

Saturday I enjoyed a very pleasant birthday.  Missed friends and family of course, but so blessed to have a relaxing day and at the end, two new friends surprised me with cake and gifts, the most precious being their offer of friendship and the few hours we spent together laughing, sharing in life and getting to hear a bit more of each other’s stories.  Be praying with us (and for me!):  we have been invited to a neighboring island to lead some ESL classes.  Now, I am not fluent in Spanish by any means, but since I know more than 75% of my team I get the privilege to be the point person for this.  I’m very much looking to it.   I expect it to be a challenge, for that is how we grow and where we recognize the end of ourselves and get to see God do great things.  I also hope to improve my own level of conversational spanish, and to see God raise up a unified community.  There are multiple tensions between different people groups and families in this eclectic part of the world and we watch to see God’s plans unfold.  As a team we were talking this morning with a pastor from the area:  the gospel is about the arrival of the kingdom of God.  Life lived as it was meant to be lived. Life in this kingdom extends into every part: culture, art, science, politics, family, society.  So our daily life includes restoring communities through practical means of medical care, education, clean water, job training, English classes.  Just some musings as I start off this Monday morning.  Praying for your day.

The heart is not a brownie

“But you, Oh LORD, know me; you see me and test my heart towards you” Jeremiah 12:3

I read this the other morning. It was one of those beautiful, delicious times on the deck. The dog and two cats were lying on the patch of sunlight coming through the trees. I’d been praying and enjoying time with Jesus over a cup of coffee when these pictures started to form in my mind as the Spirit spoke to my heart.  Perhaps you can identify with this. 

Sometimes (in error) I have conceptualized God’s testing of my heart like he is trying to push me till I break; finding all the weakest and most vulnerable places. Deeply I was believing a lie that God isn’t good nor does he act for my good, as in this scenario He has little involvement other than putting me through the hoops (sure there are all those verses about the good stuff that testing and trial produces, but if you start out believing the lie that God isn’t really that great, then none of those promises sound all that great either).  Then this other picture: God’s testing of us also isn’t like sticking a toothpick in the brownies while they are baking.  “Is she done yet?”  Like at some point the beating and baking, trials and testing, will produce something he will find pleasing (which might be true, but I was in error on the process and his involvement).  What then instead filled my mind was a picture of the most brilliant of engineers and inventors in the middle of sparks flying, molten steel, hammers crashing, huge beams being raised up on cranes and giant machines groaning as they lift massive loads from white-hot furnaces...He’s attending to a billion and one things, and yet at moments he’s looking through a magnifying glass making fine adjustments on a delicate piece he holds in his palm.  The air is electric with the passion, dedication and joy of this artist.  With each test he runs, he’s making his creation a little closer to perfection. With each trial, he is finding out where it breaks down and then actively removing that point of weakness to make it all the more magnificent.  He has this glorious end in mind and his project requires that things be melted and molded, then refined down and hammered, pressed and polished, cut and fine-tuned.  But all of it is done because he loves what he does and loves what he creates, all with a great, good, and perfect end in mind.  

"Oh taste and see that the Lord, He is good!" Psalm 34:8

The delicious morning tasted that much sweeter. I encourage you to hang out in Psalm 63 as a post script. 

Sunrises and Sunsets

“From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the LORD is to be praise.” Psalm 113:3

On a sunny Caribbean morning rushing about getting ready for the team, this Psalm was on my mind.  Excited to meet the people God was bringing to our island and to see what he would do among us and around us, I thought is was a fitting verse given the name of the church, that they were coming from the west coast to our little place on the Point where you see the sun rise over the sea. From sunrise to sunset, the Lord shall be praised.  Seeing God work in so many ways as the week unfolded, hearing of God’s work in the individual stories of each person as they live within God’s great story of redemption,  laughing my guts out at times, weeping at others.  

Those words, however, of praising and trusting God who is good and faithful, from sunrise to sunset, took on another layer of meaning this week.  The doctor, who God graciously sent here for this week, and I were called to the see the baby of a friend.  Despite doing what we could, even sending her off-island for further help, this week we read in a church program her sunrise and her sunset, the days of her birth and her death.  To attend the wake, to sit together, to cry, to listen to her mother sing at the funeral, to walk down the path along the still sea behind the coffin and up the long hill to the cemetery.  Even in these moments, we rely on the love of Jesus, the comfort of His Spirit. So on Good Friday I kept thinking of a Father who knows the suffering and pain of losing a son, who gave his only son, who also watched a walk to a tomb.  

“Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace and with his wounds we are healed.  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned -  every one - to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”  Isaiah 53:4-6