Sunrises and Sunsets

“From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the LORD is to be praise.” Psalm 113:3

On a sunny Caribbean morning rushing about getting ready for the team, this Psalm was on my mind.  Excited to meet the people God was bringing to our island and to see what he would do among us and around us, I thought is was a fitting verse given the name of the church, that they were coming from the west coast to our little place on the Point where you see the sun rise over the sea. From sunrise to sunset, the Lord shall be praised.  Seeing God work in so many ways as the week unfolded, hearing of God’s work in the individual stories of each person as they live within God’s great story of redemption,  laughing my guts out at times, weeping at others.  

Those words, however, of praising and trusting God who is good and faithful, from sunrise to sunset, took on another layer of meaning this week.  The doctor, who God graciously sent here for this week, and I were called to the see the baby of a friend.  Despite doing what we could, even sending her off-island for further help, this week we read in a church program her sunrise and her sunset, the days of her birth and her death.  To attend the wake, to sit together, to cry, to listen to her mother sing at the funeral, to walk down the path along the still sea behind the coffin and up the long hill to the cemetery.  Even in these moments, we rely on the love of Jesus, the comfort of His Spirit. So on Good Friday I kept thinking of a Father who knows the suffering and pain of losing a son, who gave his only son, who also watched a walk to a tomb.  

“Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace and with his wounds we are healed.  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned -  every one - to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”  Isaiah 53:4-6

Cockroaches, Monkeys and Fire Alarms

I’ve just plopped down into a big chair in my living room.  Thankfully the wind has picked up outside to cool down a rather hot day. It feels so amazing to sit down! It’s been a busy week. Anyone else glad it is Friday?  We are prepping for a big team coming down. They are in route already and will arrive sometime mid-afternoon tomorrow.  So excited for their arrival, but also savoring the night: A walk into one community to pick up some dinner and chat at a little cafe, then dinner conversation and hanging out before topping off the evening with The Princess Bride.

I have been thinking a lot of Moses and the plagues in Egypt the last few days.  My living space here is alright, but it was time to treat the downstairs for bugs...so over the last few days the floor has become littered with roaches each morning, particularly in the kitchen. Lovely.  So as we clean from top to bottom in preparations, I spent the morning in the kitchen attending to the carnage and other business.  I’m not sure if from all the rearranging going on or from the pesticides, but we had a huge scorpion in the living room late last night in attack mode.  Successfully defended my roommate, however I then proceeded to yell and flap my arms while hopping about the house as a means of debriefing from that situation. Those critters give me the heebie-jeebies!

In other things, God walked me through a later night in the clinic resulting in 12 stitches in an arm.  Branching out of my usual assigned tasks this week also took me into the school where I was helping with some testing.  The teachers are evaluating new students for placement and there were some beautiful kiddos from the Spanish school that needed some help so I got to be back in the classroom for a little while. I look forward to more of that; such good times past. I was also on smoke-detector duty this week, installing and testing all the alarms.  There were two that none of us could get to sound when tested and the manual said in such cases to discard the detector.  Well, when the trash went to the burn-pit today, we found out they did, in fact, work.  Too late for the smoke detectors at that point, but how we laughed while the burn pile shrieked to let us know that yes, there was indeed smoke out there.  It helped brighten our mid-day moral (that and giant spoonfuls of peanut butter all around).  In the afternoon, you’d have thought it was Christmas.  I was cleaning out the clinic (I’m so nervous to open cupboards for fear of creepy-crawlies sometimes) when I happened upon a number of items that we had been needing.  Oh I was so overjoyed to find things like gloves, coban and tongue depressors.  It’s the little things in life! 

So to close out this week, I wanted to share a little story with you.  We’re discussing our way through Cross Cultural Connections.  I find the book great for much more than moving to another country and community. There are so many points that are applicable to even being around one’s own family!  Sometimes I wonder about what is it exactly that I’m doing, what is really of eternal significance you might say, when so much of it is just observing and absorbing, learning about the culture.  This happens any time I move, but I’m more acutely aware of it here, in part because we are daily discussing things that come up or just getting doused with a situation that arose because of not understanding something. I am so prone to be a “doer”.  Check things off lists, finish tasks, do something.  But sometimes God tells us essentially, “Don’t just do something, stand there” (Henry Blackaby).  Sometimes we really need more than anything else to stop doing and just be.  To stand still with God, to be with him. To let him work in us what we are becoming.  Also, how can we hope to speak life and encouragement to a group of people when we don’t know what would be meaningful to them? How do we put the Gospel into context if we don’t take time to learn what context we are in?  Perhaps you’ll travel somewhere, maybe be part of an outreach team of some sort, stay with someone in another country or meet someone right at home who comes from a different context.  I’ve enjoyed this story and I will, I’m sure, be looking for ways that I or others portray the “monkey” in us; here you go:

“A typhoon had temporarily stranded a monkey on an island. In a secure, protected place, while waiting for the raging waters to recede, he spotted a fish swimming against the current.  It seemed obvious to the monkey that the fish was struggling and in need of assistance. Being of kind heart, the monkey resolved to help the fish.  A tree precariously dangled over the very spot where the fish seemed to be struggling. At considerable risk to himself, the monkey moved far out on a limb, reached down and snatched the fish from the threatening waters. Immediately scurrying back to the safety of his shelter, he carefully laid the fish on dry ground.  For a few minutes the fish showed excitement, but soon settled into a peaceful rest.  Joy and satisfaction swelled inside the monkey. He has successfully helped another creature” (Duane Elmer).

Lots of application, I think.  So take some time to just be - experience and enjoy God, listen and engage with people around you with an open and genuine heart, and let’s see how this goes. 

Month 1 and random bits

In the middle of the night there was a commotion out on the path somewhere that abruptly pulled me from a deep sleep. I honestly was waiting for someone to pound on the clinic door and yell that there was an emergency.  But soon the voices faded away. It was good that I was awake though.  I was all jittery by then and was not going back to sleep easily when I heard my name faintly through the breeze.  Someone was down below loudly whispering my name.  It was the neighbor; there was an emergency.  Down to the clinic.  In that hour or so between being wakened and hearing my name called, I had been praying.  Last week when I was off island there was a big medical issue but it was taken care of down-island since we weren’t here, and due to the issues involved, that was best by far.  On this night though, I was praying, telling my mind and heart to trust.  Jesus knows what I can handle, and I feel it’s often less than he thinks I can. I just asked for a lot of grace in the clinic. And there was. Turned out to be a small thing medically, more than anything an opportunity to just love on a neighbor and pray for her baby.  Nonetheless at 2am I was rather awake so spent some time with my sketchbook and journal over a bowl of coco-puffs.

So one of my favorite movies when I was a kid was the Newsies. There’s a line in there, “I spent a month there one night”.  Well my roommate and I can identify. It is unbelievable where the days go.  I’m not sure why I am always so exhausted.  Life in the moment, taking whatever comes up those steps or down the path.  This first month seems to have flown by. My hope and prayer is for opportunity to graft into the community more.  Doing things is all well and good; there’s always more to do and it’s good stuff. But my heart is to be in relationship with people. Work in the clinic, helping in the school, doing classes and Bible studies - it is all great stuff, but the goal isn’t to check off a bunch of tasks each day. My heart longs to be in community; to do life with my neighbors to whatever extent possible. I want to hear their stories. I want to share meals or walks down the path. I want to know their names and family tree.  Had an interesting conversation with a pastor from another Caribbean island last night. So interesting to see this culture through his eyes.  So much to learn.  

In the training portion of life, we are going through some amazing materials.  I love the congruity of the Spirit: similar themes appearing in multiple sources, even one’s from other places than here.  For example we spent two hours Saturday morning going through a class/discussion on world view, truth claims, postmodernism, and assumptive language.  I came back to my room for a little rest time and listened to a sermon from a church back in Phoenix. The content was so parallel to the morning.  Good stuff. 

Looking at the upcoming weeks:  We have this week to prepare and then a big group coming in for a week to do various projects around the community. It’s wonderful but tiring to have a team here.  We have later nights, busier days, and very little personal/down time.  Along with that, I am very blessed to have a doctor also coming in that same week.  I want to spend all the time I can in the clinic and pray to absorb information in a supernatural way.  That means that this week I hope to get ahead of my usual curriculum requirements so that I can devote as much time as possible to the clinic during the doctor week.  So it’s going to be a bit busy.  But in all that, always ready to stop and sit and spend time with people. Prayerful that I am on God’s agenda each day and not my own.  

The wind is gusty tonight.  Wish I could share withe you the beauty of this night. Sunset from the prayer deck was fantastic.  Took a walk to the far end of the island (about 4 miles round trip from the clinic).  It was gorgeous standing at the end of a long dock as if walking off into the edge of world over turquoise water, the gentle tide blowing the sea grass in the shallows. The generator has been running great, thanks to a new bank of batteries and generous hearts.  It’s amazing how sometime so simple as dependable electricity in the clinic or even my home takes off a little pressure.  I’d be happy if I don’t have to do any more stitches by flashlight, although it does make for a story.  Thank you for your prayers, letters and generosity.  You’re faithfulness is invaluable. It’s powerful and encouraging. Love to you all.

Thoughts from a boat

I found myself sitting on the bottom of a small boat racing towards Roatan and the hospital. The ride seemed to be taking so much longer at that moment.  A sheet covered my patient who was laying next to me on the floor of the boat on a small mattress. Every now and then I’d pull back the sheet that was shading him from the unfiltered sunlight to see if he was still conscious.  There was very little else to do as the boat slapped against the sea.  I stared up at the hot sky and prayed. How to I process this?  How do I respond! Injury had been caused to another out of anger.  I ached deeply, knowing that the blow was dealt by someone familiar and the painful sobs I’d heard from this boy spoke more of the injury to the soul than to the head.  Jesus? What do I do with this? How do I respond? I felt angry and overwhelmed.  

And then Jesus answered.  He knows what it is to have those near him turn against him and cause horrific pain.  He bore a crown of thorns and then men took clubs and beat down the crown upon his head, bashing those thorn into his skull.  Jesus took this moment in time upon himself.  He accepted that piercing crown, his head bled, so that the hate and hurt that caused this boy’s head to now bleed could be dealt with and forgiven. So that sin and death could be crushed. Jesus took this.  I was still sitting in the boat.  But the anger towards the one who inflicted the injury was resolved. I still hate that this happened, but I sensed a deep compassion and ache for the one who caused this.  Later that day I heard these words: “I just want to be cherished”.  Oh the things our souls were made for but from which we are so far; deceived by lies and our self-will, we abandon the safe place where things are True and right.  Only grace lets me put my arms around the one who did this, and pray with them that they might realize the love of the One who does cherish them. 

Applying the learning

Mid-afternoon on a lovely day I was hanging out at Sheila’s house at the back of our campus when Teddy came up to the open door to inform me that a little girl was at the clinic and had cut her head; it would probably need stitches.  Off to the clinic with a prayer, a young man who helps in the clinic was walking across the yard to meet me.   He knows how to do sutures but as we talked through what we might find upon examination, he voted that this one was mine.  She was such a sweet patient.  She was perfectly still and compliant, even when big tears rolled slowly down her face.  Praying all the while, gathered what I’d need and began. After all the prep, lidocaine has taken effect and I’m just getting ready to start the first stitch when the generator battery runs out and we’re left in the almost dark clinic room.   So by the flashlight on a phone, Jesus just took us through. I was amazed the way he let me speak and move with a calm that came only from grace.  Near the end the lights did come back on.  

As part of the program here we are reading through a book together called Experiencing God.  At the end of each day’s reading and work, it asks you to write out the statement or verse that most stood out to you, something to carry with you at the front of your thoughts throughout the day.  Today I was thinking about this quote: you do not have the ability to carry out the Lord’s commands except to be where he wants you to be.  With that it referenced Jeremiah 18:1-6, talking about the potter and the clay. The clay must remain in the potter’s hands, both to be formed, and to be used.  If shaped into a cup, the cup must be in his hands to be used as a cup, in the way the potter chooses.  It does nothing just sitting on a shelf autonomously. I show up where he says to go; He does the work.  “It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose” (Phil. 2:13).  Also reading a book called Where There is No Doctor" and the responsibility to use and share whatever knowledge you acquire. In many ways today was about applying what I'm learning and sharing it. 

Clinic, training, and interruptions

A ladies event was taking place on the covered deck and all the children have been playing out on the lower deck. Suddenly Sheila calls my name and is walking toward me in a serious way.  A little boy has blood coming from his ear. There are no real hours to when the clinic is open around here.  We’re open when people show up.  What happened?  Somehow he got his head through the rails of the porch and got stuck.  When he finally got out it wasn’t without skinning his ear a bit.  But oh! He was so cute. Sweet little guy. We found a Peanuts band-aid for him, which he didn’t need nor was it appropriate to place in his ear.  But we stuck it on just so he had something fun to show off when he went back to the crowd.  

Two intense clinic moments this week: just as we are gathering for dinner, someone comes to the clinic asking for the doctor; there’s a man in Bently Bay who was out diving and is now throwing up and very sick...that’s known to be a bad sign around here where the men do some pretty intense free diving.  Bently Bay is the farthest community from the clinic. Paula jumps to gathering up everything we could need and I don our pack as we anticipate the long walk.  Horman, who helps around the clinic and drives us down-island, yells out. We jump in the boat he has already idling and speed off under the most amazing sky.  We were gloving up as we approached the house, had the oxygen tank ready...seems it was just a bad migraine.  Situation 2 occurred here on campus.  A mother brought her little 3 year old in.  He hadn’t held down any fluids for three days with vomitting and diarrhea.  Due to the level of dehydration, Paula faced a challenge in getting an IV in.  I got the task of holding him down while doing IVs, his big pleading eyes locked on mine.  

This week: suture lessons.  Lucky for us some folks on the North Side slaughtered a pig over the weekend so we had access to some specimens for practicing.  The team leaves tomorrow though and I am nervous about being the only one here at the clinic.  Everyone is being so patient with me.  

Now the team has returned home. I'm on my own at the clinic. Thankful it wasn't a very busy day.  The weather continued cool and cloudy today so not as many folks out and about.  It was great to have people here and it's great to just have a quiet evening.  The generator will be off soon and I have to go lock up the place and switch off things at the breaker box.  It's neat to be able to tell people that I'm not leaving with the team.  What a strange thing I think it would be to live in your community and every few weeks or so, a group of folks descends upon your world, often completely living in their own while here, many of them thinking how great a thing they personally are contributing to you...I spoke with one of the gentleman in the church a little today trying to get his perspective on that topic.  The response wasn't exactly to the same theme so I'm still curious.  I think I need to sit in this situation and observe, learn and ask questions.  From the outside I could give a lot of opinion, but there's a long history and deep context that I would be ignorant of to do that now.  

Enjoyed a 20 minute break on the prayer deck today in the late afternoon. I had some curriculum reading to do.  All day, everything I'd do was interrupted by something: babysitting the teacher training leader's baby, needs at the clinic, kids hanging around...so for 20 minutes I sat under scattered clouds in a breeze overlooking the islands around me...and then I was interrupted and called back to the clinic.  You never have everything you need in there.  My last patient today needs basic things like toothpaste and a razor.  I'd love to have a stack of stickers and colorful bandaids for the kids.  The lack of supplies equipment and in my case, training as of yet.  Lots of reading assignments right now.  And lots of praying.  Good training though. Even if I knew what I was doing, shouldn't I still depend on the One who holds every event and outcome in His perfect and loving hands?  

Coconut candy is a must

March 1: After a few stifling hot and muggy days the weather turned this afternoon and a cool northwestern breeze brought in big grey clouds.  Listening now to trees rustling and slow rain falling.  I may actually put on a little sweater.

This morning we made visits into the community going west out to The Bight and Bently Bay.  Lots of practice taking blood pressure and checking sugar levels.  Stopped to an elderly gentleman. His sight and hearing nearly gone, he hasn’t lost his heart.  A genuine and precious soul, he just holds my hand and at the end, as usual, when we pray for him, he then in turn prays for us.  

In the clinic this afternoon a variety of complaints and ailments.  My first week, while the Honduran doctor was here, a mother knocked on the door and asked if I could help her until the doctor could see her. Somehow her 14mo old little boy had sliced his hand on a machete blade and she needed something to help with the bleeding.  The family lives in the Bight and there’s some relationship budding. All week we’ve been helping clean and dress this little hand and today I got to remove the stitches. The mother brought us a batch of coconut candy in thanks.  (Coconut candy, as best as I can describe it is more like a macaroon than “candy”- just a bunch of yummy, gooey coconut goodness).  

On top of learning in the clinic, I’m also taking some of the load off of Larry, my director, by coordinating the kitchen and meal planning; needless to say I’m learning a ton. But it’s fun. I realize how much, when it comes to meal prep, I just wing it as I go and create and have fun with it.  The ladies who help in the kitchen are used to being told exactly what to make and pretty much how so I'm sure my learning experience is one for them as well.

In the area of interpersonal dynamics, lots of learning going on: with the staff in which I’m constantly learning rules and methods; the short term team that’s here and specifically the medical team; islanders who work with us and that I supervise; patients in the clinic; and there are kids and adults who come by to visit or sell things.  Praying to discern the real cases of need, and the number of times people tried to swindle me today.  When to speak up, and when to be silent. To act for the good of the team and not out of self preservation or fears.  So much grace in this.  Thoroughly enjoyed a late night staff meeting.  Confession, honesty, vulnerability, genuine listening...it was fantastic.  Who knew a staff meeting late at night to discuss some arising issues could be so great!

Tomorrow the short term team is off to the beach if the weather is good. I may just stay in for the day and have some respite time.  A new staff member arrives tomorrow afternoon who will be going through the 3 month training with me, so I need to get some things ready for her arrival.  And I just want to put my feet up  in the hammock for a short time with a book.  Feeling a great need to recharge.  I have a lovely stack of letters that people sent with me from home. I’m making them last as long as I can, but I think I will choose one at random tonight before I finish some chores and turn in. Thank you for your prayers.